was it a date?

FYI to all of my readers, this is more of a "scenario" submitted rather than one single question.

SCENARIO: I went to a mid-week dinner with a girl whom I was interested in. She later informed me that I had made some mistakes during the "date". Firstly I didn't consider it a date but more just hanging out.

Q1: I told her she looked nice. She advised me that I should have said she looked beautiful. Isn't that a little steep for one to say if you aren't even on an official date??

A1: I believe you are correct. "beautiful" would be a word that should be saved for a girlfriend, not a friend who happens to be a girl. Although, complimenting a friend (who is a girl) in any way on her looks, COULD be mistaken as you being interested in her. I'm not saying you should NEVER tell a girl she looks nice, but know where "the line" is in your friendship first.

Q2: I should have clarified what we were on....I should have asked her "to go on a date", not "to dinner". Is it necessary to use the word "date" when asking a girl out?

A2: The word "date" does not need to be added when asking a girl to dinner, BUT if you truly only want it to be as friends, that does need to be clarified. If it is undefined, then it definitely is an awkward moment when your server only brings one check, or asks "will these be separate checks?" The girl then doesn't know whether you meant it to be a date, and she will look stupid offering to pay for her own, but she also doesn't want you to think she thought it was a date, when you in fact, didn't think it was a date.

SCENARIO CONT: She also said she wasn't interested after that and never wanted to date me. (She later denied saying that) I came back at her by saying it was okay and I had just started talking to someone else recently. She starts crying....what did I do wrong???

A: Whether she wanted to date you or not is beside the point. At that moment, you rejected her. Anytime we (the female population) are rejected, we cry, whether or not we wanted to date you in the first place.

happy dating! `A