Q: I have dated a few guys and tried to give the relationship time to grow because I wasn't initially attracted to one guy. I gave it....oh 6 months and still felt very uneasy/anxious about the relationship. In the meantime...this guy supposedly "fell in love with me". Did I give it too much time? Should I give it more time even though I don't feel like I love him?
A: I'm certain you will begin to notice a trend in my bloggings the more I write. This common them is....If in doubt....DON'T. You will also notice that I believe any time there are hearts on the line, proceed with caution! I'm not saying to never give someone a try if you're not initially attracted to them, what I would advise is to get to know them a little better before going on a "real date" with them. I realize this is sometimes not possible if a friend is trying to set you up, or if they've already asked you out, and you say you want to get to know them better, well, then they are probably gonna be gun shy to ever ask you out again.
Let me ask you this, would you want your eventual spouse to tell you they were not initially attracted to you? Don't you want your husband/wife to think you're the hottest man/woman on the face of the planet?
In the dating "game" [I really don't like that phrase, but I don't know what else to call it] you need to first know what you want. I mean, know EXACTLY what you want! Know the traits that are mandatory in a spouse, the traits that are optional, and the traits that are absolute NOs. The first time you see a trait that is a "no", end the relationship. If it happens to be the first date, then there will be no second date. Do not pursue a relationship any further when you know there is no hope. It's not fair to you, it's not fair to them. They feel rejected, you feel bad for hurting them.
happy dating! `A
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