Soooooo, I was informed by a male today that we girls need to give out more signals!
In this conversation, the previous posts regarding fears of rejection were validated, but I was informed that in our desire for the men to "man up" a little bit, we need to give them more signals that say "pursue us". I asked if we should just write it on a piece of poster board & carry it above our head, he said that would be a great idea! So now, of course, the blame falls back on us :)
So, apparently we're not "throwing it out there" enough! Any ideas on what signs we should give that say "I'm interested in you"?
happy dating! `A
Hey Andrea,
ReplyDeleteThis is my first post here. I have not read all of your posts but the few I have read lead me to think that the general female consensus is that all guys are shy, timid, insecure, fragile, etc. This is true for many males today, but there are still many males that have absolutely no reservations about approaching an attractive woman if he feels so inclined (I consider myself to be in this group). I do agree that the number of guys in this category is dwindling. I think that is due to a lot of factors including the overall feminization of our culture. I'll save that for another time. I simply want the women reading this blog to keep the following in mind. There are still some (this is relative) of confident, strong, and attractive guys who go after what they want. Only a guy with minimal experience would ask you to put out more signals. You are probably putting out most signals subconsciously anyways. Do you really want to make it easier by giving out more signals? I think subtlety is your quality control mechanism. Otherwise, you reek of desperation and will turn off the best guys. Only a loser wants to know the result of his actions before it occurs. Your upper tier guys generally love the uncertainty an the game of attraction. Rejection is just part of the game and does not crush us when it happens. Subtlety is your quality control. I promise you that you will regret the decision to throw yourself at guys. You will end up with a weaker breed of man with whom you will have a mother-son like relationship. If you want a beta guy and a sexually neutral relationship go for it. If you want a guy to be the yang to your yin/ masculine to your feminine keep reading. For guys who have plenty of experience with women, the subtleties are obvious (eyes, body language, speech patterns, etc.). Quit giving attention to the soft guys you know you can have and go for guys that have the ability to lead you on a journey. It is my belief that the guys that slightly intimidate you are the only types that can truly fulfill you. If you feel like a guy would make "a wonderful friend" you probably need to look otherwise. Listen to your body/heart and not your mind. Your really want to guy who will dominate you...not go shopping with you. Part of emotional arousal is fear. Don’t suppress that feeling, and go with it. One caveat: Keep in mind that there is a class system at work. On a first meeting, a woman's looks are important...period. Personality comes into play only after talking. If guys are not approaching you, it may just be that your looks are not attracting the guys that you want. But stay confident and good things will happen. Don't settle!
Johnny
I like what you have to say! Wish more guys thought like this! Do I actually know you?
ReplyDelete