Q: So, let's say you're in a "group" of people, and there is a girl you are kinda into, and she is either shy, nice to everyone, or not interested in you. If I make the "usual" moves on her, I risk making this "group" awkward because I see her on a regular basis. So, what do I do a) ask her out right then and there b) make a note that says "do you like ___? check yes or yes, have someone deliver it & bring it back w/the answer c) ask a mutual friend with whom you feel would give you a straight answer or d) something completely unexpected, spontaneous, and brilliant.
A: This is such a dilemma! When you have a mutual group of friends, it is so difficult to determine when to make the moves! While I do like the "note" idea, unless you're 7, I think this might be a little old fashion. While asking a mutual friend is probably the best place to start you must take into consideration how good of a friend the middle man is with the girl in question. If this "middle man" is BFF w/this girl, she will totally tell her that you like her, which brings the awkwardness to a totally different level. Now you know that she knows that you like her, and you're not doing anything about it.
I guess when walking on thin ice, and not wanting to disrupt the "group", it is best to start w/a mutual friend to see if she's into you at all. [Which I realize is TOTALLY contradictory to my "man it up" post]. The only reason I say start w/the mutual friend, is to see if you get an absolute "no". If she's totally not into you, better to find out from the friend, and then not make it awkward for everyone involved. If you get a maybe, & obviously if you get a yes, THEN you must move to "operation man it up" and just ask her out!
ONLY because you are gonna be in this Sunday school class, step-aerobics class, or in the same office for extended periods of time w/this person do I suggest using the middle man! Otherwise, I'd say just ask her out already!
happy dating! `A
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