Taking up for the men

I realize I will probably receive a lot of hate mail after this post, but I have a valid point.....really, I do. Why is it that any "neutral" holiday (i.e. Valentines Day or say an anniversary) that is suppose to be SHARED by both the man and the woman, has an unwritten rule that it's all about the woman? The man is suppose to plan a romantic dinner, or take the wife/girlfriend out to see some chick flick, or take her dancing. Why can't the girl plan to take him to the races, or fights, or to the game, or fishing, or hunting? Why is he expected to send her roses, but she isn't expected to send him a 6 pack, or a new rod & reel?

While I'm at it, why do women expect men to put the toilet seat down for them, but don't ever think to put it back up for their man?

Do I hear a broken record?

Sometimes it becomes very apparent that I have been out of commission for quite a while. When I hear of dates where men talk about themselves the entire time, or past relationships, or show up late, or perhaps are complete duds, I realize there are still men to reach.

MEN. LISTEN TO ME. PLEASE. It is for your own good. STOP (collaborate and listen) sorry, back on track now....STOP talking the entire time, STOP talking about past relationships (until the appropriate time in a relationship, which is NOT the first date). ASK your date about her likes and dislikes, ask about her family, her job, her friends, her dog, her cute shoes....ok, don't go there, she'll think you swing the other way, or at least missed a good opportunity. However, make sure there is balance in the conversation. Don't ask so many questions that she feels like she is being interviewed by US Weekly.

Whew, you made it through the dinner (and a movie if you lack a creative bone in your body), now you've just pulled up to drop her off. Go with a side hug. Always a side hug on the first date. It keeps from scaring the bee-jeezies out of her if you go for a FFH (full frontal hug) and she thinks you might try to go in for a kiss.

If you enjoyed yourself, you can end with "I had a great time, and I'd like to do it again sometime". If you did NOT enjoy yourself, do NOT say you'll call her, do NOT say you'd like to do it again, simply, say "thanks so much for letting me take you out, have a great night"

the end. obey the rules. quit being stupid.

what we really want....

So, it has been a really.long.time. I do apologize.

I now have inspiration for a new post.

Guys, Guys, Guys.....we need to talk. Seriously, pull it together. Grow up. We're not door mats that you can walk over. We're not sitting around waiting on you. We're amazingly awesome, powerful women. Accept it.

In middle school, ok even in high school, our worlds revolved around you. Everything we did revolved around how it was going to make us look to guys. We cared about what we wore (even though later in life we learn y'all don't even pay attention to our new shoes or amazingly cute purses) because we wanted to look great for you. We tried to go to the "right" places because we wanted you to notice. We joined the right clubs so you would think we were cool.

In college, some girls truly are there only to earn their MRS degree. Some are still just as boy crazy, while some use the time to develop amazing life long friendships. Either way, we are still "on the hunt" for you. Then.....we graduate. We still have not found "Mr. Right" and we eventually move on. We get a job, we learn to pay our own bills, we learn to fix things, because we have to, not because we want to, we become successful. Our worlds no longer revolve around you. Do we give up? Absolutely not, but our worlds do not revolve around finding Mr. Right anymore. We have come to realize that at the right time he will come along. We begin to plan our worlds around our dreams and desires....yes I said OUR dreams and desires. It is ridiculous for a young woman to plan her life around a man who is non-existent in her life yet. Does this mean we no longer plan on marrying? Nope, you just have to learn that you can't sit around on your butt planing for a man who may not come for another five years. Do the things that make you happy. Get a dog (if you want one, if you're not sure if you can handle it, get a plant first). Buy a house. Go to Alaska. Sponsor a child. Volunteer. Enjoy life. You only get one. Never have any regrets. Make the dash count!

Is it Love or Lust?

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight?

A: No I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe in "lust" at first sight, but I don't think you immediately fall in love with someone the moment you meet. I believe you can be extremely attracted to the person at your first meeting, and I believe you can have great "chemistry" i.e. good conversation, make each other laugh, a little flirting going on, but no, I do not believe you immediately fall in love at first sight!

What do you think Guyru?

I can't argue with that. As Ludacris said, "It was lust at first sight..." (from the song "Sugar" by Trick Daddy feat. Cee-Lo & Ludacris). Also, from the (great) movie The Devil's Advocate: "Kevin Lomax: What about love? John Milton: Overrated. Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate." (At least, as far as love at first sight goes.)

How to ask a woman out

I really do not like to just post websites with articles for you to read, but some times they are too good not to. Thinking back to our "man-it-up" series, this article falls completely in line with the topic. Check it out: How to ask a Woman Out!

Ladies Man, Player, or Loser?

Q: If a guy goes to eat at a classy restaurant with 3 girls, how is this viewed by others? Does it make him a ladies' man, a player, or a loser?

A: If other junior high school kids are around, he'll be the envy of them all. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure no one cares.

If he has on tons of bling, a suit complete with cane & top hat, and a gold grill, people will think he's a pimp. If he is old, people will think he's Hugh Hefner (if, of course, the women are, well.....playmate material). If he is ugly, people will think he is rich. If none of the above are the case, and what we have is just an average guy with average girls, then yes, as the guyru said, probably no one will even notice.

Natural Woman

Q: Why do girls get all fixed up for guys, if most of them say they like a girl "natural" better?

A: I think girls get more "fixed up" for the people they may encounter along the way rather than their guy. If you think about it, if the two of you are just hanging out at the house for the night, rarely do you get all dolled up, usually a t-shirt & jeans will do. We all know make-up does wonders for some women, but apparently guys still prefer the "natural look" better, don't the Guyru?

This is an interesting one. I, myself, like the "natural" look, even if it's not the best for some girls. Here's why. Guys are visual, primarily, when it comes to attraction but there's more to it than the "cover girl" visual attraction. Getting all fixed up is great for taking a picture where you're posed and only get "one chance" to look good - i.e. the "cover girl". But in real life, you're rarely "posed" like that all the time. You're moving around, making different expressions, the wind's blowing, etc. Some people can hold a good smile for a picture, or be really photogenic, but just not have the same "look" about them day-to-day. It's much more ... alluring to see a girl "in action". I really do think it's something to do with the way Hollywood has conditioned us all to think we have to look like a model all the time. That's unrealistic and maybe unhealthy. I think there's a big disconnect between the way we think we're supposed to look based on the media and what's really attractive in real life. I also think that makeup can be bad for your skin - you never get any sun on your face, and you've seen those people who have a totally different shade on their body compared to their face. Weird. Maybe it's the fact that a girl with the "natural" look seems to have let her guard down; like it's somehow more inviting or she's more approachable. Maybe the natural look is more like what you can expect to wake up next to in the morning (always handy to know beforehand). Perhaps it's poise or the way some "natural" girls carry themselves, but being comfortable in your own skin goes a long way for guys and girls. And I'll say the cliche again: Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone!