This post has been inspired after receiving an extremely lengthy email (an email that is certain to be a contender in the "longest email I've ever received" contest) from a reader.
The question I have now been pondering is this: In the dating arena, why would someone choose "dating around" versus a committed relationship?
*Please note the following is MY opinion and may not express an accurate view of the entire female population.*
I feel those who are "dating around" either a) don't know what they want b) are afraid of commitment or in the words of my grandmother c) have low self-esteem, and are afraid to be alone. To me, relationships are way to hard to pursue multiple relationships simultaneously. Casual dating is not in my vocabulary. Please know I realize there are just as many women who casually date as there are men, therefore this is not aimed at just the males.
I would like to think that the decision to go on a date with me was not a casual thought that falls into the same category as "what will I eat for dinner tonight?" Hmmm, I feel like hamburgers, so I'll go to McDonalds, feeling like pizza, Papa John's it is.....NO! I would like to think that I was the fillet mignon that you have craved for 3 months as you saved to go to the most expensive restaurant in town, the one that you have been excited about for weeks, the one you have been telling everyone about because this is such a special restaurant. I deserve that! [Somehow this analogy with food makes me think of the movie "My Best Friends Wedding" where she says "Crème brulée can NEVER be jello!"] I deserve to be treasured, and I will not be "just another Friday night".
To me, the entire purpose of dating is to discover the likes and dislikes you have in the opposite sex, to discover the type of person you are compatible with, and to ultimately find a life long partner. If you are not at a point in your life where you are ready to "settle down" that's perfectly fine, but why become a habitual dater, who never has a serious relationship? Why do you not just form friendships with these people, and not risk breaking their heart?
happy dating! `A
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