Q: I've currently been dating a guy for a little over 2 months. He's a great guy and he has the exact qualities I look for in a guy. So now that we are dating, I guess I am curious how long I should give real feelings time to develop? We only see each other on weekends but we talk on the phone often and at this point I just don't feel that emotional connection I am looking for in a relationship. I really want it to work out because he's a great person but at the same time I know that sometimes you just don't have that deep connection with someone that you want to have. Sure I can keep dating and we will have fun hanging out but I'm not someone who dates to just date...I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with and if he's not the one I don't want to lead him on in anyway.
A: I have actually been in this situation before, so I can speak from first hand experience. I dated a really great guy several summers ago, and it seemed like it would be the "perfect ending", BUT, there was just something that wasn't "right" about the situation. I wanted to make it work, but that wouldn't have been the "happily ever after" I had hoped for. Any relationship has to have some effort to be successful, but you want the relationship to be as easy as possible. You don't want to force feelings that, ultimately, are not there. There are some guys (& girls) out there, who truly are great, but they are great for someone else, not you. I think when you find "the one" you will have butterflies from the beginning.
I think you are wise in not wanting to lead him on. Many people do just keep hanging out because its easier, and it's fun, but ultimately it makes the break up harder.
happy dating! `A
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