A: So in this situation, maybe it is to catch up or maybe it's to keep on going. Either way I'd say just go with it and let what unfolds unfold. There will probably be enough body language and such exchanged you'll figure out pretty quick if it's a "date" or not a date. With that being said, who picks up the cheque? One of my favorite ways to handle this is to bring a buy 1 get 1 free coupon and when you go to order your entrée, you say to the waiter …"and she will have an item of equal or lesser value," as you slide the coupon to the waiter. [note to self...Guyru is a cheapskate and will not be taking you to a five-star restaurant! If on a date with the Guyru you will more than likely be served at a restaurant where there are pictures of the entrees on the menu board, and you will probably hear the phrase "would you like fries with that".]
But lets say you haven't prepared that far in advance. Guys or girls, here's what I would do when it comes to paying. If the other individual offers to pay and you don't want them to, you say "ohh that's not necessary", but if they insist, then let them. If you are wanting to pay and you hear that line, then politely reply, "well if you're sure" and then let them pay for theirs.
If it's NOT considered a date, but you want it to be, guys, a free meal for her probably isn't going to change things [Precisely! You will not win me over with a free meal, although if you do not at least offer to pay, you will certainly lose points!]. If the girl offers to pay for you on a date, guys - you may have a keeper! [Never have I done this!, ok well, maybe not never, but usually only after we've been dating for a long time, and I do it to just to be nice].
Girls, social custom tells us the guy pays. Heading that off by paying for your own does send a signal. BUT: I like a female who doesn't have to play by the rules. Just make sure if you pick up your own tab, and want it to be a date, send some clear signals that there will be a future (with him in it). [I like the social custom, I like to be "taken care of", and I will certainly let you pay if you want to! I realize I do not speak for ALL of the female world, but I do feel I speak for the majority of them.]
* Guyru's response in blue * Guru's response in red
I agree with the 'Coffee & Chat' blog. The guy is definitely interested if he is asking you to "catch-up" (his way of asking you out since he is unsure if the girl is interested especially if he lives farther away or hasn't seen you in a while). Regardless, something has drawn him to you i.e., he has seen you out somewhere, someone mentioned you in conversation, etc. thus the "catch-up" question. If the girl agrees to go, southern gentleman rules apply. This includes opening the door for the girl AND buying the meal, whether she knows you are interested or not! To further clarify that the guy is interested...look no further than the follow-up to the date...uh hmm "catch-up lunch/dinner". Did he have some form of follow-up within the following day and/or week? If so, there is no doubt he is into you!
ReplyDelete